Bella's hidden anorexia
by Ninerkins
Summary: Its been a few weeks after Edward returned to forks. Bella is as happy as could be, on the oustide. No one knowns Bella anorexia that devolped when Edward left her. How can she keep it hidden?
1. Chapter 1

EDITORS NOTE: This is supposed to take place a few months after Edward left bella. She now has a eating disorder. ENJOY! If you want more chapters please review.

As I woke up on a Friday morning I noticed something off. I stretched my arms out to find nothing but a pillow next to me. As I woke up I looked around the room, and my eyes caught Edward sitting in my old rocking chair."Good morning love." He said as he flipped through Romeo and Juliet. In a eye blink he was back over to my bed kissing my forehead. "What time is it?" I asked stretching my tired arms. " 7:12, Charlie hasn't woken yet, and we need to leave in 30 minutes for school." Edward notied. I nodded my head and started to get up. I looked at him and smiled. "Human moment?" Edward laughed and went back to reading his book. As I walked down the hallway to my small bathroom I panicked. 100...120...150... I thought to myself. How many calories did I have yesterday? When I entered the bathroom I closed the door behind me. Pulling out the scale that I hid under the sink, I stepped on it. _95.2 pounds._ Thats .3 less than yesterday. I quickly brushed my teeth and changed into a button down blue tee-shirt. It was Edwards favorite color on me, and it would make him happy to see me in it. I walked back to my room and thought of how I could get out of lunch today. I already told Edward I was taking a test yesterday, maybe he would fall for it again today? I opened the door to my room, and there sat Edward. His beauty suffocated the room, leaving me without any air. He gave me his famous crooked smile and stood up. Ready? He asked already dressed. I nodded my head with a fake smile and started to make my way down stairs. Edward decided to take the window, incase Charlie had woken up. I sighed, today was going to be a long day.

The bell rang for lunch, and I started to panic. I hadn't though of anything to tell Edward and time was about out. "Hi!" A high pitched tone said next to me. I jumped and looked at Alice. "God you scared me!" I shouted. " Is something wrong Bella?" Alice asked me giving me a worried look. "You look like your thinking about something." I quickly put a fake smile on my face and said "Nope, nothing. Ready to go to lunch?" As me and Alice entered the cafeteria I groaned silently to myself. Edward was in the front of the lunch line buying my usual, chicken sandwich with baked fries. I sat down with Alice at the table and tried to listen to her. She rambled on about a new fashion trend, but all I could focus on was Edward walking over. "Bella are you listening or am I talking to myself?" I heard her ask. "Y-yeah... scarves as the new belts. I know." I answered still not looking at her face. Edward sat down next to us and gave me the tray. I smiled, taking a fork full. He turned to Alice. "Stop pestering Bella Alice, we couldn't care less about your trends." Alice smirked at Edward."I'm not the one wearing wool. This is NOT 2009 Edward!" As Edward argued with his sister, I quickly shoved the sandwich in my purse, while throwing the fries onto the floor. As one of the fries hit Edwards shoe, he looked down. I quickly stood up. "Noo! they fell!" I whined. Edward eyes brow furrowed. "I can go get you more Bella." Edward stated. "No its fine, I need to go talk to Mr. Brown anyway. Thank you though." I quickly gave him a peck on the cheek and started to walk away. Edwards eyes burned a hole into the back of my blue shirt. Something was up, and he knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

As I arrived home after school, I saw Charlie's car in the drive way. Why was he _home?_ I whined to myself. I quickly got out of the car and headed up the pavement. I took a deep breath before I walked inside the narrow door frame. "HELLO?" I shouted over the tv. Silence stood for a few seconds as I looked around. "Hi belles, how was school?" Charlie finally answered. "Fine." I answered, trying to cover my bitter mood. I must of done a good job, because he didn't reply back. As I walked into the kitchen I felt a horrible pain in my stomach. The hunger was unbearable, and I needed to eat._** NO!**_ I screamed to myself, but my legs moved towards the fridge. I looked over at Charlie and made sure he was not watching me. _nope_, his face was still glued to the tv. I quietly gave in and opened the fridge to leftover pasta from the night before. I grabbed the container and carried it up into my room. I closed my door and sat onto my bead and started to binge. I shoveled the food in as fast as I possibly could, I felt like I was about the chock. I then proceeded to swallowed half the container in one mouth full, and dug my hand into the food again. Sauce fell onto the floor, and my hand stung from the ice cold tempter. As I polished it off, I started to lick the bowl clean. The glass bowl fell onto the floor and broke everywhere. _Shit._ I thought as I watched the glass spread across my floor. I bent down and saw the gooey sauce still on the floor. Taking my finger I licked it up. "BELLES ARE YOU OKAY?" Charlie shouted from downstairs. With a mouth full of pasta I managed to yell "Im fine dad! Just a lamp!" I scurried and started mopping up the sauce with my hand. As I was cleaning it hit me. _what did I just do?_ I screamed to myself. I held my stomach in pain as I felt it grow. _YOU STUPID FUCK!_I screamed inside my head. I didn't hesitate as I ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door closed and quickly turned the water on. Kneeling to the ground I shoved my fingers to the back of my throat. _blechhhhhhh._ I heard myself vomit. I coughed up the food and my throat burned. _blechhhhh._ I shoved my fingers down again. I repeated it 15 times intill nothing else came up. I sighed to myself trying again. As soon I was sure everything was out, I flushed the chewed pasta. I slowly got up and turned the water off. I looked into the mirror and saw the blood red pasta sauce all over my face. I quickly washed it clean, and took off my stained shirt. As soon as all the evidence was gone, I slowly opened the door. The TV was still on downstairs, so Charlie didn't hear me. I sighed in relief and walked back to my room. "This was too reckless" I whispered to myself. I need to stick to gas station bathrooms, I needed to make sure Charlie would never find or out wor-. I walked into something stone cold right inside of my bed room. I let out a _WOFF_, like someone punched me in the stomach. "Hello love." Edward said looking down at the glass shards. I stared up at him in disbelief. "H-hi Edward." I hesitated. He smiled at me and kissed my nose. As his lips trailed his way to my collar bone, I held on to him. My breath became uneasy and I felt like I was going to faint. He stopped and backed away smiling. Soon his smile faded as he looked again at the broken glass. "I broke a bowl." I stated flatly looking down. I tried not to look panicked, but I couldn't help it. Edward laughed. "My clumsy Bella." He wrapped his arms around me. I sighed in relief. This means he didn't hear me vomit, and this means he still doesn't know.I began to relax and let of a sigh of relief. "Bella, you have been invited over for dinner tonight with my family. Esme is making you a stir fry." Edward said as he bent over and started to clean up the glass. I stood in shock. "A dinner with vampires who don't eat?" I asked. Edward laughed and nodded. I still stood shaking. "Well I have alot of homework Edward, and I need to make charlie din-" Edward cut me off. "Bella its a Friday night, I think you have some time to finish your homework. And Charlie has had many meals without you before. Your not getting out of this." I stood there still for a few moments. I finally gave in and nodded my head. Edward smiled. "Six 'clock. I'll pick you up."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Editors note: Thank you all for the reviews! I made this one just for you guys. I will be posting a new chapter every 1-2 days if I keep getting REVIEWS. (I cant build without some feedback!) Enjoy._**

I took a deep breath as I stood in front of the Cullen's door. I smoothed my silk green dress and adjusted my bun. Alice dropped off the dress before I left, and forced me to let her do my hair. I hated to admit I looked beautiful, but I did. Edwards hand around my waist started to move down to my rump. "You look beautiful Bella." Edward said, giving me a crooked smile. The door opened and their stood Rosalie, in a tight red dress. She rolled her eyes and yelled upstairs. "Alice _shes_ here." Edward growled. "_She has a name Rose." _Rosalie rolled her eyes and flew off. I stepped inside and heard steak sizzling. It smelt so _good._ I didn't know what I was going to do considering I was going to be watched like a hawk. Alice ran down the staircase, wearing a blue scarf and white dress. "Bella!" She shouted and gave me a hug. "Dinners almost ready." Carlisle came through the door and gave me a warm smile to greet me. In a flash Edward had my coat on a hanger. "Are all of you just going to watch me eat or something?" I said bitterly. Edward frowned and looked at Carlisle. "No, we have our own meal, don't we Carlisle?" He said while hanging my coat in the closet. Carlisle smiled and bent down to the wine rack. He pulled out a old bottle of what looked like red wine. "I've been saving this for when we didn't have time to go hunting. Its elk blood." Alice smiled at me. "Does this freak you out Bella?" I laughed. "Not at all, shall we sit down?" trying to change the subject. Edward called everyone down. As I sat down I held my large purse, easy for stuffing food in. This eased my mind when Esme brought out the stir fry. It smelt so amazing I almost took a bite, but stopped myself. I watched while all of the vampires poured themselves a cup of blood, and figured it could be my way out. "Alice, tell everyone what you told me today at lunch!" I tried to say excitedly. Alice stared at me blankly "What? I didn't say anything bes-" Alice froze. Her face turned into a large grin. "I was telling her how scarves as belts are coming back in. When Jasper and I went to pairs last fall..." My mind trailed off from Alice. I checked Edwards face to make sure he was listing to Alice. Surprisingly, he was focused on the conversation. I took the fried veggies and steak, and poured it into my large bag. A piece fell on the floor and I quickly moved it with my shoe. _Just a few more pieces of steak_. I thought while I kept stuffing my bag. "HMPH!" I heard someone say behind me. My hands froze inside my bag. I slowly turned to what felt like facing my death. There stood Rose, with a smirk. "I need to sit down, could you move your foot?" She said as she sharply pulled the chair out. I tried to say something, but the words didn't meet my mouth. I sat there for a few minutes, staring at Rose. But she never looked back. _Did Edward hear her thoughts?_ I panicked. I quickly looked at Edward, and he still was in the argument with Alice. "Alice, your not the fashion god, and It isn't okay to always act like it. Bella has fine style, don't tell her otherwise." Edward stretched his arm around my shoulders, giving me a peck. If I wasn't so nervous I would of flushed a deep red. "U-Uhhh thanks." I tried to say. _So does this mean he didn't hear? Does this mean he wasn't listing? Maybe Rosalie didn't know, maybe she didn't see._ "BELLA?" Alice broke my thought. "Why do you look like your about to vomit?" All seven of the vampires turned their heads towards me. I faked a smile and shrugged, snuggling closer to Edward. "Anyway... I never said Bella had bad style, I said she was fashion IMPARIED, which isn't false..." Alice ranted on. After dinner Esme cleaned up my dish, and the seven blood drenched cups. I still felt so _sick._ If Rose saw, Edward could easily read her thoughts and find out everything. If Edward found out everything, he would leave me again. Or he would send my away somewhere, far far away without asking me. I _couldnt go anywhere! _I _wont_ go anywhere. Not without a fight. Id rather leave Edward, the love of my life than lose my dear friend. Ana.

If I had anything left in my stomach, I would of thrown up.


	4. Chapter 4

As I sat in the car all I heard was the tires against the road. I sat with my arms crossed, leaning as far away from Edward as possible. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to think of what would happen. "Bella... Are you alright?" Edward asked gazing towards me. I didn't reply. Instead I stared out the window, with my cheek against the cold window. Edwards brow furrowed. "Bella answer me." He demanded as he sped up. I still didn't answer, nor meet his gaze. I soon felt a cold hand jerk my chin towards himself. I struggled to get away but he didn't let go. "Edward this hurts!" I managed to say with my jaw being held. "Well then answer me Bella." He said gripping slightly tighter. I managed to throw a weak punch at his arm. This did no good, considering he was much stronger than me. But he got the hint and let go. "You ignorant ass!" I shouted in anger and slapped him again. Edwards brow furrowed deeper and stared at me. "Are you done avoiding the question?" I felt the anger come on deeper. "Avoid WHAT question? I didn't want to go to dinner tonight, I told you that. I have homework that I will not be able to get done, and you really hurt me! Your strong, you know that. That was a ass hole thing to do Edward Cullen!" I spat as I glared into his deep golden eyes. Edwards face grew either sad or angry, I couldn't tell. "Why are you yelling at me? Maybe if you told me what you wanted I could help.." He mumbled while he turned his eyes on the road. I glared deeper at him. "Nothing Edward, forget about it." Edwards face grew angry, this time I knew it. "If you stopped being a child, and we stopped fighting over _nothing_, I could forget about it." He spat back at me. "But because you always insist on acting like a child, Ill act like your father." I soon felt us pull into my driveway. "Go to hell." I said flatly. This caught him off guard. ". Tell me WHAT THE GOD DAMN HELL YOU WANT!" Edwards voice raised so loud my ears began to ring. I got up quickly opening the door, and hopped out. As I stared down to him in the car, I said the first thing that came to mind. "Jacob Black". And with that I slammed the door in his stone cold face.

Four hours passed and I still sat up in bed. I felt the hunger pains stab at me, slowly killing me. _What did I DO?_ I asked myself. I thought back to Edwards shocked hurt face. "I'm such a horrible person." I stated out loud. I had to do this though, I had to break it off with Edward intill Rosalie forgot. As soon as it was safe, I could apologize and make up with Edward. Right? I groaned while I forced myself to get up for my nightly weigh in. I held onto the bed to support my weak legs. It had been 5 days from the last bite I ate and kept down. That had to be at least another pound from last mornings weigh in, right? I entered the bathroom and took my hidden scale out. I took my large sweater off of my freezing body and stood on the scale naked. "_**89.9**_" I read on the scale. I almost died of happiness, everything was working amazingly. That was intill I looked into the mirror. There I stood, rolls of fat hanging from every corner. My bony ribs stuck out, yet the rolls of fat under it told me how horrible I looked. The scale_ lied to me._ The scale was the only thing I had left, and now it was _lying_ to me? I quickly put the scale away and threw on my sweater again. I started to walk back to my room. I felt faint, but all I thought about was the scale. "_tomorrows another day," _was the lasting thing I remembered before hitting the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey everyone, I didnt post yesterday Sworrryy! But this is a very very important chapter. Review if you want this story to keep goingg!_

For a few moments all I heard was the opening and closing of doors. My knees felt numb, and my eyes were glued shut. "BAMB BAMB!" I heard a knock on my door. "Belles Im off to go fishing!" I heard Charlie say. It sounded like a faint murmur, but I knew he was only a few feet away. "Bella? You have work in a ten minutes..." Charlie reminded me. I still laid, unable to move."Ok." I managed to whisper. I opened my eyes, seeing myself on the ground. _I'm on the floor...?._ I thought to myself. I quickly got up and sat upon my bed. My ears rang as my head throbbed. I felt the back of my skull and found a large bump sticking out from my hair._ SHIT!_ I thought. How long was I asleep? I peered over to my clock that read 7:00. _six hours_. I sighed as I hopped off my bed to get dressed. My energy was almost completely back, though I felt the hunger eating away inside me. Reaching inside my nightstand I grabbed out my box of pills, popping a few. _Pain killer, laxative, diet pill, another diet pill..._ This would get me through the day. I walked downstairs and made myself a cup of black coffee. Slowly sipping the bitter drink, I started to feel better. My hands shook as I wrapped myself in my winter coat and headed my way outside. It was only November, yet I always felt like I was standing in a pit of snow.

As I drove to the Newton's store, I thought about what I needed to eat today. Today could be my 6th fasting day, or I could give in to the _devilish_ strawberries Charlie bought. _Once on the lips forever on your hips...once on your lips forever on your hips.._ I reminded myself. As I pulled into the empty store lot, something caught my eye. A Volvo sat in the front row, with a beautiful man leaning on the door. My heart completely stopped. _EDWARD?_ I gasped slightly. I pulled in a few spots away from him. Though he knew I was there, he never looked up. He kept rolling a small rock in and out of his fingers. Confused, I stepped out of the car and slowly walked towards him. As I stood by the Volvo I let out a weak greeting. "Hi..." Edward didn't respond, nor did he stop flipping the rock around in his cold hands. I waited for him to respond, and several minutes past. "Edward... I need to go to work." I said panicked. Without looking away from the rock in his hand, he answered me."How are you?" I still didn't move or respond. I just shrugged. "Why are you REALLY here?" I finally got the courage to ask. We sat in silence again." Why where you hiding _food _in your _purse?"_Edward said like we was disgusted. I froze, this couldn't be happening. "Rosalie _TOLD _you?" I spat. he finally met my eyes. "She didn't have too, she thinks about it enough." He threw the rock across the parking lot, almost knocking down a tree."I just want to know why you, Bella Swan would hide food." "I-I-I just... D-dont like stir fry.. and I didn't want to hurt Esme feelings-s...you know, she's pretty sensitive about that stuff." The words flew out of my mouth in a ramble. Edward stepped closer to me, looking into my eyes. I quickly looked away blushing. "So that's what last night was all about? You were angry because of that?" He asked raising a eyebrow. "Yup." I said as I shrugged innocently. We stood there in silence for a few moments, intill he broke it. "Are you angry with me still?" Edward asked. His eyes became a liquid gold as he looked at me. "Of course not." I said smiling. Edward grinned back at me and kissed my forehead. "I have to go.." I said as I looked at the store. He nodded his head and smiled. I walked towards the store and heard Edward zoom off in a instant. Suddenly my relief was overcome with fear. When I looked into his liquid eyes, I saw something. A mask of feelings he was so easilyhiding. _Why_? I whispered to myself. Then it hit me Suddenly.

He knew _everything._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Thank you everyone for the suggestions. Everything you say makes this story better! Leave more (nice) Suggestions in what I should change or fix. Hope this chapter is better! _**

The ride home was the worst. I couldn't stop thinking about Edwards eyes, and what they meant. If he knew everything would be over. Edward would either leave me, or stick me into a crazy hospital where he never had to see me again. I would never be changed into one of them, and Edward would find someone else. I pulled into my driveway waiting to see a Volvo, but no cars were parked. _Thank GOD! _I thought as I jumped out of my truck. I really didn't need Edward or Alice pestering me right now. All I wanted was to binge and purge some _devilish_ strawberries. I opened my front door, and peered around the corner. "Edward...Alice...Charlie?" I doubled checked. No response. With a sigh of relief, I walked over to the fridge and took out the container of strawberries carefully washing each and every one. I quickly stuffed a hand full of whole strawberries in my mouth, trying to chew. As I swallowed handfuls and handfuls my stomach began to gurgle. I threw the empty container into the garbage and ran upstairs to the bathroom. Slamming the door shut I quickly crouched down to the toilet. Shoving two fingers down my throat, my stomach became uneasy. _blechhhhh. _I threw up vigorously. _Blechhh belchhh! _My throat ached by the end, and I flushed the waste down. I got up and held onto the counter for support. Swishing water inside my mouth, I dried my face with a towel. _All better._ I reassured myself as I smiled to the mirror. Opening the door, I walked into something hard and cold. Slowly looking up, there stood Edward looking in disgust.

"Hello." Edward said standing in front of me. His voice was weak, and he didn't look down to meet my eyes. "You... you didn't knock!" I answered trying to shout. Edward finally looked down. His face was stone, and his eyes were empty. "_Bella... please tell me what's going on?" _His voice broke and he tried to hold my face. " I have to flu." I said, blocking his hands from touching me. "No..No you don't. Why are you _lying_..? And why were you _throwing up?"_ Edwards eyes became filled with nonexistent tears. He once again tried to hold my face, but I blocked him. "I thinks its best you leave.." I demanded as I tried to walk away. Edward didn't move from in front of me, instead he pushed passed me into the bathroom. He opened my bathroom drawers, digging inside. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I shrieked. Edward slammed the drawer closed and opened another one. "Where's your stash? What are you _HIDING?" _He said angrily. I tried to stop him, but it was no use. After he looked through the drawers, he opened the cabinet. Edward froze. Slowly, he took out my hidden scale. "Why...are you hiding a scale?" He said turning towards me. I refused to meet his gaze. Instead I decided to take a chance and run into my room. Though Edward was much faster than me, I was hoping the element of surprise was on my side. I darted out of the bathroom and grabbed my door handle. I quickly got inside and locked my door. In a split second Edward knocked. "Bella let me in..." He demanded flatly. I decided not to respond, and instead put a chair under my door handle. "Bella... I can easily break this door.." He said again. _Shit!_ He was right. I needed to get out of this room, and I needed to get out of this house. I glanced over at the window and smiled.

Almost out of the window, I heard the door crash open. Edward ran inside, looking around the room. He saw me and rolled his eyes. I felt a cold hand touch mine and pull me up. "LET ME GOO!" I shouted as I fought his grip. But before I knew it, I was inside the warm room again. "Have you gone insane Bella Swan?" Edward asked as he closed my window again."Tell me what's going on!" Edward begged. I rolled my eyes and walked over to my bed. I plopped down and crossed my arms. "Frankly, it's none of your damn business." I spat, trying to act tough. "Well then... I guess we have to do this the hard way.." He said. In a flash Edward was over by my night stand opening drawers. I gasped. In a swift moment he grabbed my hidden box and put it on the bed. "Would you like to open it or shall I?" Edward offered. "GET OUTT!" I tried once more. "I guess I will." Edward said as he rolled his eyes. He lifted up the cardboard top and looked inside. His face became stone again when he picked up my pills. He read the back of the labels and shook his head. "Alice's vision was right..." He sighed. My eyes darted towards him. "_What _vision?" I gasped. Edward didn't reply. Instead he pulled out the rest of my laxatives and diet pills. After he was done in the box, he looked around my room some more. Going into my closet, he pulled out one of my shirts. "What vision Edward! And what are you...doing?" I asked in disgust. He looked at my tags and frowned at me. "You were not a XS before Bella..." Ignoring my first question. "Yes I was... how would you even know. And why does this even matter?" I asked weakly. Edward put my shirt away and sat down next to me. "Alice saw you _throwing_ up..." Edward finally told me. I froze, not meeting his eyes. "How...long ago." I whimpered."After you left school Friday." Edward wrapped his arms around me, snuggling his face into my back. "What are you thinking...?" I asked frowning as I fought off tears. "Well you have some sort of a illness that Carlisle is going to need to see." Edward said calmly. I quickly got up and backed away. "I'm not SICK Edward! I don't need to see anyone! I have the flu. And I was constipated. Those diet pills are forms of vita-" Edward cut me off. "You have a eating disorder Bella, and I have no idea how long you've been hiding this. I'm getting you help because you are my world, and I love you to much to just let you _die._"Edward blurted. This angered me. Did he not understand I didn't _want_ help? I let out a high pitched laugh. "YOU don't get to help me! Don't you understand you're the one that causes me all this stress? Because of you I'm not allowed to see my best friend. Do you know how that hurts? You LEFT me Edward! And I've been telling you its fine and I understood, but I DON'T! My problems are because of you!" I shirked. Edward face fell into a stone once again. We were both quiet for a few minutes. "Your right."Edward finally responded. He rested his head in his hands. "This is my fault. I ruined you once again!"Edward murmured. I stood there is shock. I couldn't believe I just said that, I couldn't believe I hurt Edward.

Everything I did hurt someone.


End file.
